This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
