I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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