if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If I die, sorry about rent.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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