i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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