this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
