Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
