so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
