Pappa wants mamma naked
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
