I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
