I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
