I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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