fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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