he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
PANTIES FOUND
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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