So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize