Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
