I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Someone came in the potted fern
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
