I seem to have left my pride at pride
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize