Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
