I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
