I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
