why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
