is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he was CRYING into my vagina
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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