you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
