Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
