i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
