its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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