you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
