I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You can't special order awesome
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
