Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
