There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize