We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.