brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Duck Duck Cougar?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
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Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
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his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA