Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?