i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina