YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
