Your face is a jimmy john
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The air was thick with penises
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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