I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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