She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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