I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
