girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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