No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just made my gag reflex go away.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize