we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
