i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
