I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize