I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
