Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
