Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I AM VODKA MAN
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize