Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
