I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
3pm strippers are depressing
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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