He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
