He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
