I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
