My nipple is on Facebook.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
