so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
