I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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