3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
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