i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
