I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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