Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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