She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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