Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
