All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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