At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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