those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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