You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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