i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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