we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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