Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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