you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
