I just cut my nipple shaving
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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