I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
